Lost and Found
by airwolf addict
Summary: Story 32. Even the general complications of life that must be dealt with are more so when the Hawkes are involved.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

"Saint John," Ellie Mae repeated, beginning to get the felling she was talking to herself. "Saint John Hawke."

"Did you say something?" he asked innocently.

"What is it? Something is obviously bothering you."

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yeah, now tell me what's wrong."

"Probably nothing," he answered, "maybe everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know exactly. I've just had one of those feelings that something is wrong."

"Everything has been pretty slow since you all returned from Brazil. String even appears to be beginning to understand that is actually only human."

"That alone is reason to worry."

She laughed, but only until she saw the serious look on his face. "You're _too _serious sometimes, you know that?"

"Maybe I am," he allowed, "but every other time I've had this feeling only bad things have followed."

"What kind of bad things?"

"It's not always the same, but usually somebody dies."

\A/

A light mist of rain fell, covering the ground and begging to make the trail slippery.

"Good thing Cait isn't home to see me today," Hawke murmured to himself. Truth be known, Caitlin would probably kill him if she knew how far he'd gone and now had to travel back in the rain. At least he was doing it with the crutches, he thought much to his own chagrin. He used the crutches as little as possible when he was back at the cabin but knew he wasn't ready to go that far without them yet.

At last he neared the cabin, exhausted and thoroughly soaked, mere minutes before Caitlin was due to arrive back. No matter how much he wanted to go inside and collapse on the couch, he had to go inside and get cleaned up or he'd be in trouble again.

Struggling up the front steps, he dropped his crutch just inside the doorway and made for the stairs on the other side of the living room. He wasn't even halfway up the stairs before he had to stop to rest, wondering if he could muster the strength to make it even to this bedroom much less the shower or even the bed. He took another two steps then stopped to rest again.

The Jet Ranger came within earshot.

"Shoot," he muttered, climbing another stop higher. Only four more to go. He took another step as the sound of the Jet Ranger drew closer.

On the brink of collapse, he finally made it to the top, practically having to crawl to the bed and pulling up the covers even as the front door opened.

"String," Caitlin called as she walked inside, nearly tripping over the single crutch lying in her path.

"String, are you alright?" she called again. Things looked about the same as when she had left that morning for the paperback on the end table and a couple dirty dishes now in the sink. Everything else remained undisturbed.

Receiving no answer, she made her way upstairs to see if he'd gone there. "Hawke?"

Checking their bedroom, she found him resting peacefully, damp errant strands of hair sticking to his forehead,

He must've gone to take a bath and been completely exhausted, she thought, remembering how even usually thoughtless tasks suddenly became a burden with his new injuries. The poor guy had finally been convinced to stay home awhile before trying to tackle work at the hangar again, but that in and of itself worried her. He was never convinced easily and typically when he did agree to stay it was only if she would leave Chance with him. This time, however, he had almost immediately accepted her proposition of staying alone up at the cabin.

Boy was she a worrier! If he is being his stubborn self, she's worried he's going to try something stupid he wasn't yet physically ready for; but if he agreed with her, then she's afraid something is wrong because he wasn't acting like himself. He was fine, she told herself. People broke bones all the time, and he had been through a lot worse than this.

She stroked the baby fine fringe as she watched the even rise and fall of his chest, tears trailing down her cheeks as she thought back to what had happened only a couple of weeks ago, and how close she had come to losing him.

"You just like seeing how many times you can cheat death, don't you?" she whispered angrily. She couldn't blame him for wanting to fly Airwolf, and couldn't think of a better person to do so, but there were so many instances when she could have lost him, and several times where she nearly had. One disconcerting thought kept coming back to her though - what would happen when death cheated _him?_

She hated to even think such a thing, but eventually they would all succumb to the inevitable. The only question was when; she just hoped he wasn't speeding up the process.

A bandaged hand wiped the tears rolling down her face away, asking what was wrong in a rough whisper.

"Nothing," she sniffled, "at lease nothing you can change."

"You sure?"

She nodded, stroking his hand gently. "Get some more sleep, you look tired."

He obliged, she too weary to argue, and before he knew it had drifted off again.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Saint John rolled tiredly out of bed, trudged to the continuously ringing phone, and murmured a sleepy hello.

"Uh-huh….yeah." He startled at the familiar name, now suddenly awake. "She is? No, I never knew… Of course I'll be there! I'll figure out some way." he hung up the phone, struck with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

"Everything ok?" Ellie Mae asked, having just now joined him.

"An old friend of mine isn't doing so well," he answered. "She was put into the hospital recently and isn't expected to live very long."

"Oh, Saint John I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, me too," he replied, a far away look in his eyes, "me too."

"You're going to see her, I assume?"

"I'd like to, would have liked to change a lot of things, but she's halfway around the world. By the time I could get a flight over there, it would probably be too late."

"Then take Airwolf."

"I can't just take it though. First off, I'm part of the _crew, _but as far as ownership goes I'll let String and the Committee battle that one out. Secondly, I can't just take her out joyriding anytime I feel like it; Airwolf is still supposed to be kept as much of a secret as possible, and leaving it to sit in plain sight isn't going to do a very good job of that."

"So take someone with you to guard, or you could hide it, both even. Better yet, don't take Airwolf at all. Get someone from the FIRM to drop you off."

"I can't just walk in and request a flight; it doesn't work like that and you know it."

"With all they've got gong on, getting you there shouldn't be a big deal. You could even fly commercial back. If they can't spare you one flight though I don't know why you would bother putting your life on the line for them. They have obviously done nothing to deserve it."

\A/

**Knightsbridge**

**30 Minutes Later**

**Michael's office**

"A flight to France?" Michael repeated in astonishment. "You do realize we aren't running an airline don't you?"

"I do, but this could be my last chance to see her and I need to make things right. Please."

The white-clad government agent stopped to think for a minute, thoughtfully stroking his mustache. Involuntarily, memories of everything Hawke or any of the rest of the team had ever done above and beyond the call of duty for him bombarded him until he at last felt there was no option but to give in.

"I'm not promising luxury and comfort," he cautioned, "but I guess we can fit you on the C-130 heading over that way in a couple of hours."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet, they might just make you parachute out," he said with a trace of a grin.

"Hey, I was just asking for a ride," he returned with a chuckle. "Just get me there in one piece."

\A/

"Missed a spot," Chance said, pointing to a barely visible speck of packing material still on the floor.

"If it bothers you so much, why don't you come and pick it up?"

"Cuz, _you're _sweepin'," he answered matter-of-factly.

Dom stood in the doorway separating the office from the rest of the hangar and smiled to himself. If only they knew how much like their fathers they were, he thought, going back to the times String and Saint John used to argue in the back of the hangar.

"I'd be happy to let you help," Le offered in an exasperated tone.

"Just finish it," Joshua joined in, "I wanna go home."

"Now, now, that's enough of that," Dominic admonished. "Finish up here or I'll leave you all up here to sweep all night."

Obediently Le continued sweeping and the argument subsided at least momentarily.

"What do you kids want for supper tonight? Uncle Dom's treat."

"Alfeedo."

"Psketti."

"Pizza."

All three chimed in at once.

"An alfredo and spaghetti pizza? My, you can come up with some odd dishes. Don't knock it 'til you try it though, right? Get your stuff together and we'll see what we can do."

\A/

"Keep the pasta in the pot," Dom directed, picking up escaping dry noodles. He turned back to Le who was stirring the sauces on the stove. "How's it coming?"

"Good. I think it's about done."

"And, Josh, how's the pizza crust coming along?'

"Goopy."

"Here, let me help a bit." He reached over and helped Joshua smooth out the pizza dough.

"Tomato sauce is ready," Le announced.

"Bring it on."

He dumped the pot full of sauce all over the pizza crust, soaking in a soupy red substances.

"Alfeedo time," Chance declared, taking a spoonful of noodle and slopping them onto the pizza stone, half of the noodles never making it actually to the pizza.

"And into the oven."

Good job boys. I'll make great Italian chefs out of you yet. But now we have to clean up."

"Ah man, do we have to?"

"Uncle Dom…."

"It's only going to get worse," Dominic advised, "but with all of us working together it won't take but a couple of minutes, even if you kids are world class mess makers."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

"Thanks you so much for watching them last night," Caitlin said immediately following her greeting.

"Not a problem, we spent most the evening working on an experimental dinner. It was actually pretty good too."

"What'd you have?"

"Alfredo and spaghetti pizza."

"That's, um, interesting. I might just take your word on how it tastes though."

"Your loss. You think you could take that birthday group whoever they're wanting to go? Not too far, Moreno Valley or something to that extent I believe," he requested, getting straight to business.

"If you need me to, sure. Assuming he returns from whatever he had to do, Hawke should be in today to help some too."

"Good to know he's feeling better at least," Dominic commented.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You don't sound nearly as excited."

"I am, I mean I want him to recover as quickly as possible. I just think he's pushing things too fast."

"What do you mean?"

"By the time I got home last night he had already gone to bed. At first I thought he'd gone to take a shower and been tired afterward so went to bed a little early."

"So what's wrong with that? Sounds to me like he was actually showing common sense."

"He wasn't just tired though; he was absolutely exhausted. He left his crutches downstairs in the middle of the floor too, and when I went back through I found mud tracked all in."

"So he went for a walk and forgot to wipe his feet. I think you're getting all worked up over nothing. Listen, he's been hurt before, he knows how that goes, but he doesn't like to be the injured party either. Yes, he's going to push it; no, I don't think you should try to stop him. He has to be able to figure out his limitations on his own."

"You make it sound so easy, but it's not when someone you love is hurting themselves."

"I love him too, just like he were my own son, but telling him what he can and can't do is only going to make him want to do what you told him he can't even more. That's just the way he is."

"Way who is?"

Hawke asked as he limped back into the hangar.

"Where…." Caitlin caught herself, forcing herself to heed Dom's advice. "Did, you get whatever you needed done?"

"Yep, it's all set up. Now how about some breakfast, I'm starved."

"Just a coffee for me," Caitlin said, not bothering to point out she had fixed enough breakfast to feed them all twice if he hadn't been too tired to get out of bed this morning.

"A breakfast sandwich from the place down the strip sounds good to me," Dom added, "but you better get something for the boys too while you're at it, or they'll be likely to eat poor Miss Ellie Mae out of house and home when they get over there."

"I'm sure Saint John wouldn't appreciate that much either since it's his apartment."

"Daddy, daddy!"

"Uncle String!"

The three boys came running toward him, attacking him with a rush of hugs and excitement.

"Does that mean you're wanting to come with me?"

He received a unanimous consent.

"Alright, let's go then.

Before anyone else even had a chance to think about objecting they were gone.

"For a guy that can barely walk, he gets along pretty well, doesn't he?"

"Yeah." She just hoped it stayed that way.

\A/

"I guess I should have taken him more seriously when he said I might have to parachute out," Saint John yelled over the noise of the plane.

"I guess so," the young paratrooper agreed as he checked his passengers' harness. "You said you've done this before, right?"

"I have, but it's been almost twenty years."

"Here's a little refresher then, you jump out, wait til you're clear of the plane then pull this cord here, and don't run into anything; to steer, you use this and this," he instructed, showing him where all the various things were.

"That simple, huh?" Saint John quipped.

"Just about, and I think this is your drop, have a nice trip."

With a moderate shove he was out into the air, wind rushing past him as he fell faster and faster.

Finally down to about two thousand feet, he pulled on the cord.

Nothing happened.

Now falling rapidly, he tried to avoid panicking, knowing it would do nothing to help him, but none too excited about the fast approaching ground beneath him.

"Come on, come on."

He pulled the chute cord again and was rewarded with a sudden jerk as the parachute deployed and his speed slowed dramatically.

"Thank you God," he whispered over and over again, "thank you."

The remainder of the way down was less eventful, and for that he was grateful, ending the ride with a remarkably light landing.

Once both feet were firmly on the ground, he began to unlatch the harness and gather the chute, and finally he was ready to begin his trek towards the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Returning only a few minutes later, Hawke and the three boys came back with a feast that would no doubt be devoured in minutes and enough coffee to go around.

"As soon as I'm finished here, I'll start on that backlog of paperwork I know you have in the office," String offered.

"That's alright, kid. I know how you hate paperwork and it's nothing I can't handle. Enjoy the day off in town, maybe take the boys with you a while."

"I insist. I haven't been much use at all the last few weeks, and if you're going to have employees you need reliable ones."

"I'm not calling you unreliable, I just think you would benefit from a day to just have some fun."

"I'll go for a little while after I get something done here," he compromised.

"Fine," Dom gave in, realizing there was no persuading him otherwise, "if that's what you really want to do." Hawke was being difficult as usual - he hated the paperwork but for their better good he was going to force himself to do it anyway even though they told him it wasn't necessary and they would handle it, no matter what they said.

Settling in the office chair, he was mostly happy to take the weight off his ankle, but honestly did feel the need to do something for the business and at the moment this was able all he _could _do.

\A/

"Saint John…" an uncharacteristically weak sounding woman said, "is that you?"

He forced a smile and reached over, clasping her cold, pale hand in his. "Yeah, long time no see, huh?"

"It has been-" her phrase was cut short by a violent fit of coughing. "a while," she finished after she finally caught her breath again. "Why'd you come?"

"Why'd I come?" he reiterated, taken aback in shock. "Why wouldn't I?"

"We had better times, remember those, I don't want you here to watch me die."

"Who said anything about dying? You've been through worse; you can still pull out of this."

"No, it's ok. It's just my time. I've always been sickly, and you know as well as I that I wasn't cut out for a long, hard life."

"But you've always overcome that."

"Don't, Saint John, just don't. I appreciate the thought, but when things didn't work out for us I intended for you to move on and stop dwelling on ghosts of the past."

"I can't just-"

"Yes you can. Leave, move on, and forget about me."

" No. Whether we're together or not, you are part of my past, part of what shaped who I am, and there's nothing you can do to change that."

She caught him with an accusing glare. "Why would you even want to remember?"

"There were good times, despite all the bad. We may have both moved on, but that doesn't mean we can't remember what we once had. I cared about you, loved you, and I wish it could have worked out between us. Maybe the feeling wasn't mutual, and if it makes you feel any better I have moved on; actually I'm engaged to another sweet girl I met over there, but you were my first serious relationship and you always will be special to me."

"You," she whispered hoarsely, "cared that much about me? Even though I stood you up on a regular basis and acted like a complete fool, made you look like an idiot in front of your friends? How?"

"I don't know," he answered truthfully, "maybe I though there was more good below the hard exterior, or maybe I thought I could change you. Heck, maybe I was just a kid in uniform in need of someone to love him, and you were the closest thing I had. I might've been naïve, I know at times I was downright stupid, but I don't think that's why I fell for you, there was just something special. Things started to slip when I kept getting called to do those special operations, and when I came back you were just gone. I never thought I would see you again, afraid something had happened to you. What ever did happen any way?"

"I deserted," she stated simply. "I was sick and scared, so I ran. Would I do it again now? No. But then again, I know we won that one now.

"After that, I couldn't face you with the truth. I dwelled on all the bad that happened and convinced myself we never would have made it as a couple anyway. I went into intelligence work, continually trying to atone for the mistake I had made and never feeling I had quite repaid it. I was stuck on it and couldn't move on to make the best of what I had. Think what you want about me, but do me a favor and learn from the mistakes you didn't have to make. Go back to whatever family and friends you have and make the most of your time here on earth; otherwise, it'll all be over and all you'll have left are regrets."

Having made her final plea, the room grew abruptly still and quiet, a heavy darkness setting over it, so that all within it knew she was gone even before the shrill alarm of the heart monitor went off.

\A/

"Dom," Hawke called "come here a minute, will ya?'

"What is it?" he asked, entering the small office and fairly sure he already knew what business String was wanting to address.

"Please tell me these figures aren't right. I've run them twice and I got the same things, but…"

"They're correct," Dominic confirmed, "much as I wish they weren't. Business, or the lack of, hasn't been good lately, and we've been gone on a lot of missions for Michael, so there isn't any one available or any publicity while we're gone. The reimbursement money for our time away is about the only thing that's keeping the business afloat," he admitted soberly.

"Why didn't you say something before? I could pitch in a little instead of drawing a paycheck I don't need."

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"It's not a big deal; I don't cash the majority of the checks from him anyway."

"It's your money though and you earned every cent of it, I can't just _take _it."

"You're not. I'm offering it, actually I'll bring one up with me in the morning and deposit it first thing."

"I appreciate it, but I've been through hard times before, it's nothing the business won't weather."

"But it doesn't have to," Hawke argued. "Cait and I won't miss it. We don't really have much in the way of bills other than food. Besides, he tried in a lighter tone, hoping to appeal to Dom, "if the business went under Cait, Chance, and I wouldn't be able to use your chopper to get home and you'd be stuck with us crazy people even more."


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

"Here's your coffee, sir," the woman said in heavily accented English, bringing him back to the present.

"Thank you." He handed over the money and took the coffee, walking silently in the direction of the airstrip. It didn't come as much of a surprise to him, but he still couldn't quite believe it. She was often weak and sickly, rarely well enough to do much traveling or anything strenuous for that matter while he had known her. It really was a shame, he though. She was generous and loving when she wanted to be, didn't ever want to _really _hurt anyone. And because she was afraid of upsetting those she cared for at home again, she wouldn't go back to the states, or anywhere else she could have gotten better medical attention and maybe have lived. She knew it though and made her choice, nothing he could do about it now. All he could for Andrea was honor her last wishes by not dwelling on the bad and moving on with his life. That wasn't the easiest thing though, he thought gloomily.

"_You think it will last?" her words felt more like a threat to their relationship than a mere question._

"_I'm not looking for a one night stand if that's what you mean."_

"_Good to know, but I mean really last - like raise kids and grow old together last."_

"_I don't know," he answered as he leaned over to kiss her. "But I think we have a pretty good chance."_

That had only been two weeks before he'd last seen her; a special mission, and he'd never seen her again. Until today. Now that it was too late. Not long after Andrea he had met Ellie, and against all the odds they were together again after nearly twenty years apart. Everything appeared to be going well with that relationship too, he though hopefully, but then again, it had been looking that way with Andrea too.

He was hesitant to move too quickly with Ellie because of what had happened to his previous relationship with Andrea and earlier with her. She hadn't exactly had the best end with her husband either. She'd accepted his proposal though and seemed happy enough at the idea. Maybe he should just bitet the bullet and put his fears behind him. But the niggling fear that it might not work continually haunted him. What if she thought he was trying to move too fast, or Joshua didn't like the idea of a "new daddy"? Le hadn't been very vocal of his opinions either, now that he thought about it.

"_Learn from the mistakes you didn't have to make. Go back to whatever family and friends you have and make the most of your time… otherwise all you'll have are regrets."_

"Alright Andrea," he said aloud with a sigh. "You better be right because I'm going to try it."

\A/

Scrubbing away diligently at the dirty casserole dish, Ellie Mae attempted to concentrate on the household chores, but her mind drifted. She thought about how much her life had changed, how she had been lucky to even get this far, and reflected on the regrets and mistakes throughout her life. Through her thoughts a sole person stuck out though - Saint John Hawke.

It felt like only yesterday she had accepted the diamond studded ring, a symbol of something much bigger. She hadn't needed to think about accepting, she just had. Now it wasn't exactly second thoughts setting in, more like practicality. She could honestly say that she loved him, but would love for each other be enough to overcome the obstacles that lay ahead? He already had Le, and she had Joshua, not to mention the other largest problem that came to mind - his career. Work at the hangar even with the odd hours was manageable, but the FIRM was different. If they made a go of this, often she would be left to take care of the kids while he was gone, which would be fairly often, many times with little or no warning. He was part of a team that was involved with dangerous missions, and it wasn't her place to tell him he shouldn't be. Could she live with the knowing every time he left there was a possibility he wouldn't be coming back though?

"_So what are we going to do?" The seemingly simple question hung between them in an awkward silence for several minutes._

"_You said this- this job- for the FIRM is really important?"_

_Saint John nodded silently._

"_Then you go. I have friends in town, surely one of them would be willing to drop off and pick up Josh for a couple days, and said Le usually walks or takes the bus anyway, right?"_

"_What about you?"_

"_I'll be alright. It's only a couple days, and I've got to start doing things on my own again sooner or later, it just so happens to be sooner."_

"_There is always the slim possibility that…"_

"_That you won't come back?" Ellie finished._

"_Yeah."_

"_I know."_

"_And you're ok with that?"_

"_No," she admitted, "of course it's not ok with me, but what choice do I have? At the moment I'm pretty much dependent on you anyways, so I guess that just means you have to come back."_

"_That was my intention."_

She had said she would deal with it then, and even a seemingly safe job like accounting wasn't immune to danger either she now knew. The probability of something happening was lesser, but still there all the same.

She knew that if she explained it, Saint John would understand, maybe not like it, but he knew what that was like. She also knew that someone else wouldn't necessarily make her as happy. Better to live happily for a little while than live miserably for a lifetime, she thought. Besides, that kind of thrill and excitement kind of attracted her. If it didn't, she never would have met him over there in the first place.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

After feeding Le and Joshua a dinner of roast and baked carrots which neither showed a particular interest in, Ellie started them in the direction of bed, only now finishing and getting some time to herself. She dressed in a silky pink nightgown and walked back down the short hallway to the kitchen to fix herself a cup of tea. She was stirring in the sugar when she heard someone outside the front door.  
"It's almost midnight, who would be here at this hour?" she murmured to herself, abruptly heading toward the master bedroom when whoever was outside started wrestling with the door, banging against it and looking like they were about to rip handle clear out of the door.  
Before she had the chance to make it back or even pick up some means of defending herself from the intruder he was inside.  
"Surprise?" Saint John called out as he entered the door, taking in the startled look on her face.  
"Uh, yeah, surprised."  
"Sorry if I scared you. I honestly was trying to be quiet, but you know how that old door in, guess I'll have to get on the landlord about fixing that again."  
"Yeah, I guess so," she replied vaguely. "You know, if we're planning on getting married, I do have a house. It's fully paid for, and a little bigger than your apartment."  
A little bigger was a great understatement, but while the apartment had suited his needs with only Mike as a regular visitor and occasional roommate, it was beginning to get a little crowded with all four of them on the rare occasion they were actually all home.  
"If you want, we could. It's not like I'm overly attached to the leaky faucets and doors that stick, but if you want to stay here I guess I can handle that too," he added with a smile. "But we can talk it over later, maybe when it's not the middle of the night and I've flown through nine time zones."  
"Sounds good enough to me. How was your trip anyway?"  
"I'll tell you later, for now let's get to bed. I know it's late and there will undoubtedly be plenty to do tomorrow."  
\A/

"What it is?" his wife's words barely registered with him like a whisper of his own conscience. "String?" She laid a hand on each shoulder, silently beginning to massage away the soreness from a tension he had previously been unaware of.  
He didn't answer immediately, allowing her to work out some of the knots.  
"What is it that has been bothering you so lately?" her inquiry came after a long lull of silence.  
"Just things."  
"What kind of things?"  
"Just stuff that's been going on, nothing that can't be handled."  
"Expound. It's not good to keep everything bottled up."  
"Sinj is going through a bit of a hard time and I don't know how I can be of any help. Business at the hangar is bad too."  
"How bad?"  
"I'm worried, Cait," he answered frankly. "I told Dom I'd deposit one of the checks from Michael into the business account, but he thinks the business could weather it. I'm not so sure."  
"I see." She moved further into his neck, surprised at just how tight it was. "Amidst all this worrying about everyone else, how are you doing?"  
"I'm ok, I guess."  
"You don't sound very sure of it."  
"Truthfully, I haven't thought about it much."  
"You can't always be the hero, you know."  
"I know, at least I think I do. In theory I know it, but I feel so useless when I can't do anything to help. This is my family, the ones I should protect the most and I can't do a thing."  
"You are though, Just being there if Saint John needs to talk is all you really can do for him. And the money will help out at the hangar a lot."  
"But it won't improve business, and Dom's not going to accept regular charity donations whether I want to give them or not."  
"Take a break. It will work out alright, you'll see. You're not going to do anyone any good making yourself sick with worry though. Let yourself heal before you go off and save the world."  
"The only problem is the world still needs saving while I'm healing."  
"Well maybe I can help," she offered, trying another tactic. "What is this 'hard time' your brother's going through?"  
"His previous engagement."  
"Previous? I thought he and Ellie were together back in-"  
"They were."  
"How previous are we talking about?"  
"Not long before Ellie, he had this one - Andrea - quite a looker, but personally I had my doubts whether she was anything more than that. He liked her though and spent about every leave he got with her for a while, but after one of our missions he just never saw again. I didn't know what happened to her; I'm not sure he ever found out either, but recently he got the news she wasn't well and probably wouldn't live long.  
"So he went to see her," Caitlin supplied.  
"Yeah, but he's not going to take that well I'm sure. I know it's bee a long time, but he was so sure she was the one. He was planning to propose as soon as we got back, and I know he's already had a few doubts with Ellie Mae considering their previous relationships on both sides haven't turned out so great.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

"Wake up, wake up!" Joshua shrieked, bouncing up and down on Le's bed. "We're going home."  
"What do you mean home? We are home," Le grumbled in response, pulling the covers over his head and rolling over.  
"No my home."  
"Your home?!" Le repeated, suddenly erect. "Why?"  
Although it would take some getting used to, he was starting to warm up to the idea of having Ellie and his dad get together. She was nice enough, and it gave his life a sense of normalcy. Also, it meant he could stay home instead of having to be shipped off to some friend or neighbor's house every time Saint John had to go on a mission or extended charter, which was a lot. He also seemed happier and was usually in a better mood when she was around. But now things were abruptly changing again if they were going home.  
"I don't know," Joshua replied, still bouncing. "I just heard them talking about it."  
Nearly jumping out of bed, Le padded quickly down the hallway to the kitchen where Saint John and Ellie were talking.  
"…as soon as possible."  
"Start packing I guess then, there's a lot to be moved. I'll open up the house," Ellie said, "probably will be a little musty since no one has been living there for a few months. And when I get back I'll start getting my stuff together."  
"I'll tell the kids."  
Le ran back towards his room, but passed it, instead heading for the balcony, flinging the door open and sinking into the corner.  
"Why can't I get a family like everyone else?" he complained aloud. First his mom, Aunt Minh, then Uncle String, and now his own father. Nobody seemed to care about him or anything that happened to him. Scooting further back into the corner, his hand came across a coil of rope that had been left out after their last camping trip. Without thinking, he began to knot the rope around the balcony railing. He climbed over and slid down, running as soon as he hit the ground toward the woods, ignoring the tears that blurred his vision.  
\A/

"Le," Saint John called, "Le van Hawke."  
He received no answer.  
"Is Le lost daddy?" Joshua whimpered.  
Caught off guard, Saint John paused a moment before answering. This wasn't the first time Josh had called him daddy, but wile he liked the gesture it took some getting used to; even Le didn't typically acknowledge him as dad or father or something to that likeness.  
"Is he?" the boy repeated.  
"No, we'll find him. Don't worry." This wouldn't be the first time Le had run off under his watch, but he wasn't mutually exclusive either according to his brother. The difference was he didn't know what he had done to upset him so this time.  
\A/

Alone in the hangar office, Dominic silently sat and stared at the check left for him. Even for one who wasn't "in need of money" such as String had described himself, that was a lot of money. It would more than take care of the financial problems they'd been having lately, but how could he accept such a generous gift?  
"Hey, Dom," Hawke called as he entered the hangar with his mini look a like son beside him, "have you made it to the bank yet?"  
"No, not yet."  
"Chance and I'd happy to take it for you if you want," he offered.  
"Seems a little lazy on my part don't you think? First I'm using your money, then I'm making you deposit it into my bank account for me?"  
"Stop thinking of it that way. It was a gift, it's not like you forced me to give you the money."  
"It still doesn't feel right though. I appreciate it, really I do, more than I can tell you. But I can't take what you earned without some kind of payback."  
"You don't need to pay me back, like I said it isn't a bog deal. Count it towards fuel money and all the hours I've put it on your choppers going to and from the cabin, whatever you want."  
"It still wouldn't do it justice. Do you remember the amount on this check?"  
"I do. Count it as a small reimbursement for all the time, love, and effort you spent on Sinj and I after the our parents died then. I know neither one of us, especially me, were very helpful at times; I was downright difficult."  
"You don't have to repay me for that; it was a deal your father and I made years ago to take care of each other's family should anything every happen. Deal or not though I would have done it without a second thought no matter what it cost me, but honestly it was a small price to pay to raise what would become two fine young men."  
"I can't put a price on the care and love you showed us, but this is what I can do to only begin to repay you."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

"Dom," Caitlin called, "I found you some business."  
"Oh?"  
"You might need both choppers though."  
"Even better, I think. What is it?"  
"A group of kids visiting Monument Valley. The charter service they had booked can't take them for whatever reason and I offered our services. They'll be here and ready in an hour."  
"That's a girl, good job, we better get busy then - choppers to fuel, pre-flight checks, paperwork to fill out, and the list goes on."  
He got up and headed for the hangar. "Come on, we've got a lot to do in the next hour."  
\A/

"Le," Saint John called again, still receiving no answer for his efforts. "Where could he have gone?" he asked himself. They had already gone everywhere he could think of and still no sign of Le.  
"Do you have any ideas?" he inquired of Joshua.  
"I dunno. He ran past the bedroom toward the balcony, but I didn't see where he went.  
"The balcony… he didn't.. oh, I hope not. Come on, Josh, we've got to go."  
Climbing back into the car and slamming it into reverse, he sped off in the direction of his apartment.  
Worst case scenarios images continuously flashed into his mind. "He could just b hiding in the corner," he told himself. But he might have jumped off or fallen, he mentally rebutted. He was probably fine. He could have broken his neck. What are you so worried about? He's always been fine in the past. You can only 'get lucky' so many times before it eventually catches up with you.  
Screeching to a halt in front of the stairs, he parked even as his purposeful, long stride carried him quickly up to his unit, through the front door, and down the hall.  
"Have you found him yet?" he asked his fiancé even as he reached the back door, revealing an empty balcony.  
"Not yet."  
A wave of relief and worry all in one washed over him. So Le hadn't fallen and gotten hurt, at least not very badly if he did, but where the heck was he?  
In plain sight hung a thick rope carefully tied to the balcony railing and dangling only about a foot off the ground below. No doubt about it, that was where he had run. There was nothing out there but a patch of woods though, why go there? Nevertheless, it was somewhere to start looking and more than they had found in the last hour of fruitless searching.  
\A/

"All topped off, Dom," String announced. "Choppers are ready to go."  
"And you're sure you'll be alright?"  
"Fine," he answered more out of habit than having actually thought about how he was going to manage alone.  
"Be safe," Caitlin whispered, kissing him as she left.  
He gave them a thumbs up as he moved out of the way of the rotors and sent a brief glance around to make sure everything was as it should be. He watched the two Santini Air Jet Rangers disappear beyond the horizon, a sense of longing washing over him. How he wanted to be one of them up there flying! But he had gotten himself into this current predicament and he would just have to live down the consequences.  
Or he could take the Lady out for a while, he thought abruptly, a smile spreading across his face.  
He personally thought a couple hours of flight time wouldn't hurt anything, and Chance always seemed to like going up in her…  
No. He was going to stick it out and behave this time. Last time he had gone off before he was fully healed he had only come back more injured. This time he would wait it out and heal, then try to avoid jumping off rooftops.  
In the meantime he would have to take care of things here, not that that should be hard.  
"Daddy, I'm bored," Chance complained.  
"Hold on just a minute." He went to answer the phone before it quit ringing.  
"Santini Air," he answered. "Hey Ellie… Gone? I see. Yeah, of course I'll come over as soon as I can."  
A second later he hung up the phone and put up the closed sign with a sigh, grabbing the keys and heading towards the door.  
"Come on, Chance, we're going to Uncle Sinj's house."  
"Uncle Sinj, Uncle Sinj!" Chance called out excitedly. "Are Josh and Le going to be there?"  
"Le has gone missing, and we're going to try to find him."  
\A/

Wiping away the remaining tears that dripped slowly down her face, Ellie got up to answer the door.  
"String… she trailed off, falling into his arms.  
He caught her in a supporting embrace, stroking the back of her head soothingly. "It'll be alright, Ellie, I know it will."  
"You better be right," she replied seriously.  
"Come on back inside," he directed, guiding her back towards the sofa, leaving Chance to drag in his crutch as he limped behind her.  
"I'm sorry. I should have. I forgot you were hurt. I could have sent us both over the railing and then what would we have done?"  
"What could we have done? Sinj just would have had to find us too."  
"Yeah," he at least got a semblance of a smile from her. "I really am sorry though. I didn't think about…" she glanced at the wrapped wrist and ankle. "You aren't in any condition to be trekking through the woods. Or being used as a pillow for that matter," she added, blushing.  
"I'll be fine, probably would have eventually given in to disobeying the doctor's orders and flying if you hadn't called, so you're actually saving me from a long lecture from my wife."  
"Glad to save you from that then, but really I couldn't send you out there to look for him. It looks like it's going to rain soon anyway, and I don't want you to get sick on top of all of this."  
"Le probably isn't far, just a matter of finding him."  
If you're determined to go at least let me watch Chance for you, help keep him from getting under foot."  
"I don't mind him; I need someone to keep me out of trouble after all."  
"Why don't you stay here by the phone for a while and I'll have a go at it?"  
"Ellie, I'm alright. I've been taking walks a lot farther than I'll probably go tonight around the lake recently. Really, don't worry about me."  
Reluctantly he obliged, watching as he hobbled off with Chance in search of his nephew.  
And she wanted to act ass this kid's mother? she questioned herself. What gave her the ability to do a decent job at that when she couldn't even manage to keep track of him at home? Who even said he wanted her as a surrogate mother? Perhaps it would be better for all if she moved out, but only her.  
Even Joshua seemed as much, if not more, at home with Saint John these days. Legally he had adopted Josh, and they had been putting off all the complicated paperwork until after the wedding. It wasn't as if she wanted to abandon any of them, but as time wore on she was having more and more doubts as to whether or not they could work out the details of becoming a family and make it last.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Saint John had his life, and it was his to live, be he, Le van Hawke, had just as much right to live his own how he saw fit. If his father could run off to war half way around the world at twenty, what was so wrong with disappearing for a few hours, maybe a day or two, to get his point across? Nothing he could think of. Why did it feel so wrong then?  
He clamored further up the tree as the sound of voices drew closer, sure he could evade his pursuers, but at the same time not completely sure wanted to. He didn't want to look stupid and just give up, but by the same token, he was tired of running.  
Would going back change anything though? he wondered. If Ellie and Saint John weren't going to stay together, why should he stay? Who was to say he wouldn't be the next one to be kicked out?  
Even as he carefully crawled backwards and higher into the tree, a small twig broke off when his hand hit it and soundlessly fell to the ground.  
Or not so soundlessly.  
Both Hawkes below looked upward for the source of the noise as if it had been a thunderous explosion instead of a tiny twig.  
"Daddy, I found him," Chance announced, pointing directly at Le.  
Trust the little kid to get him into trouble. That's how it always seemed to work.  
"I see him," Hawke acknowledged, laying eyes on the boy. "You planning on coming back any time soon?" he asked casually, no hint of anger or irritation evident in his voice. "You know, Ellie and Saint John are pretty worried about you. They had something they wanted to tell you."  
"I already know what they have to say and I'm not interested."  
"I take it you aren't too fond of the idea."  
"I take it you are, that or you just don't care at all."  
"Why would you think that?"  
"You had to know what's been going on, he tells you everything. You never did anything about it though, never tried to stop it."  
"Stop it? I never knew I was supposed to."  
"He's happy with her, I know you're noticed that. Why didn't you do something, not let this happen?"  
"Come on down," Hawke invited, finally understanding what this was really all about. "I think we need to talk and clear some things up."  
Le edged forward a little but refused to leave the tree.  
"Ok, I guess that's close enough. What exactly did you hear?"  
"What does it matter? I heard enough."  
"Please," he requested, "so we're on the same page."  
"Josh came in this morning and said he's going home. I snuck out to the living room and listened to part of their conversation."  
"How much did you hear?"  
"Enough."  
"Alright, let me fill you in on the parts you missed then. I understand your being upset, I would in your place too. But remember we all love you and want you to be happy. You're always welcome to stay with Cait and me if you want to, or just to talk too. Before you run off though, listen to the whole conversation. Joshua and Ellie Mae are going home, but not because of an argument or being kicked out by Saint John. The plan was for you all to go. Her house is already paid for, so no more rent payments; plus, it's a lot bigger and you could have your own room. It isn't far away either. If you don't want to move, I suggest you talking to them instead of running away, usually worked a little better for me."  
"But they're not breaking up?" Le asked, sliding down from the tree.  
"No, quite the opposite. You had better hope one of those kids Cait's carrying around turns out to be a girl though, or we're going to have a problem when the subject of flower girls comes up."  
\A/

"They're coming!" Josh proclaimed from his perch at the window, "they found him."  
Excitedly the remaining search party had gathered inside and crowded out the door toward the threesome walking up the path.  
Caught up in a flurry of hugs from his father, Ellie, and soon to be stepbrother, LE no longer had any doubt String had been telling the truth. It was only a misunderstanding and things would all work out, one way or another, in the end.


End file.
